The enchanting music of Enya played from the bedroom nearby. The beautiful sound of water dripping into the soothing, hot bath was intoxicating. It was my first bath since I had my lung removed, the sensation was a heavenly experience. The water was a cocktail of skin nourishing concoctions and detoxing medicine. The dim light of the room was romancing my soul, I could feel my spirit begin to rejuvenate. I ran my finger tip along the surface of my palm, the texture was exquisite. These are the moments I take myself back to as I sit here thinking about the past.
These sensations are a distant memory, now my finger tips are numb, they tingle with the sharpness of needles. When I slide my finger across the surface of my palm the sensations are delayed, lacking the sweetness of touch. My feet are like rubber shoes and burn like they are being licked with fire.
These are the haunting reminders of the lingering ghosts of chemo. There are no small prices to pay when it comes to cancer. Everything you do, every choice you make comes at a cost. Though I sit here experiencing these less than pleasant sensations I do not regret the choices I have made.
These sensations are gifts, they are tools, they are a reminder of the places I have been, the worlds I have discovered.