Refreshed February 15, 2017

February 15, 2017


Today is the friendly day of February 15, 2017 and the world is a wonderful place.  Last night I negotiated a good night rest and awoke refreshed, ready to live.

As I laid in the darkness with my lovely, beautiful lady asleep next to me, I felt myself overwhelmed by the numbness of my body.  I desperately wanted to feel again, I was afraid that the neuropathy was only going to get worse and that I’d be without sensation for the rest of my life.

Then there was a defining moment, a second when I decided that I would feel again.  Returning to the techniques I used while going through chemotherapy, I imagined what it felt like before these new sensations.  I brought my hands to touch my flesh, and before my skin made contact I imagined how it used to feel. Then I slid my finger tip across my flesh,  the old memory became the new memory.  It was at this moment that I said:  “I am choosing to make my old memory the new memories.  I am reprogramming my experience of NOW, with the experiences of BEFORE.

Yet as I was experimenting with old techniques I realized I needed to fall asleep. The act had been difficult for some time now. I attempted my regular meditations of taking a bath or reading, but this time I tried something different.  As I laid there I imagined cute creatures like kittens, puppies and other baby animals doing funny things.  I thought about how soft they were, how adorable they were. Every thought became an experience, every moment was filled with an all encompassing cuteness.  I accessed memory after memory until my heart and mind were settled and I fell asleep.

I slept beautifully and awoke refreshed.

Refreshed cute animal

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