Shame is one of the seven negative roots of the Tree of Life. It is a crushing noun, its effects touch us in every way we can imagine and more. It pulls us in, chews us up and spits us out into stringy meaty bits, its a grinder making ground meat. Shame prevents us from asking for help, its what holds us from those we love and destroys our dreams. An easy example of shame could be said in a few comments: “Men don’t cry. Suck it up.”
The actual definition of shame is different than the one we are using here. Shame is a synonym of guilt, but in this instance we are going to define it as the guilt we experience due to society’s influences on us, whether real or perceived.
I’ve been told by some that they were surprised I experience shame. They had an idea of me, I was this person, no.. this character who wears everything on their shoulder, giving no shits about what others may say or feel. Truth is, I’m a person just like anyone else. I am not a character or a cartoon, I experience life just like you. In the past I’ve made the attempt to carve my own path out in the rock of shame, by living my own life by my own terms. But there are forces that hold me back just as they would you or anyone else.
Shame was one of the powerful forces that lead to my suicide attempt.
This was not the first time this idea put me in this situation. It feels embarrassing to feel these emotions and have these thoughts. When we arrive at this low point we lose sight that there are others who have been there and want to help.
If we want to live life to its fullest we need to move beyond shame and transform it into something greater. By walking this latest path I have learned how to put an end to shame. By slicing the negativity from the word I have turned shame into Accountability, one of the positive roots of the Tree of Life.