You want me to do something – Poem

You want me to do something

You want me to do something

 

You want me to do something

That something isn’t fair

I’m not the instrument of your destruction

The implement of despair

 

You gave me something

A gift you wanted me to share

It was a broken piece of glass

A little piece of a bowl

 

When you look at it closer

It’s a window to the soul

A little shard of intimacy

The knot between you and another

 

Words and parts,

People and places

Events and things

All sorts of feel-ings

 

You wanted me to cut them

A slash that would wound me too

That broken piece of glass

So calculating, so sharp

 

Your desires, your dreams

What do they even mean

Why would you do this

Is your heart that a miss

 

So black and dreary

Full of so much pain

Why do you want to take so much…

from my vein?

 

 

You set me to flame

Truly tell me,

What in the world do you have to gain?

 

Links

I am strong – Poem

 

 

Thank You Tony Strutynski

Thank You Tony Strutynski

Thank You Tony Strutynski

Thank You Tony Strutynski

Tony, a man I’ve given many names, shared many moments and many conversations with. He has been my friend at my best moments and my worst. As he walks candy coated love explodes from his chest and skittle flavored rainbows shoot from his mouth. There is no one I know who cares about their friends like this beautiful man. His heart is sweet in such a way he reminds you it’s cool to be a kid and alright to be an adult. He inspires me to write, fight and be the Shawn White I am today, yesterday, everyday.

This is a man who passes no judgement, carries no gavel and most likely doesn’t eat any gravel. He’s down with silliness, ridiculousness and all the Shawn White tomfoolery I can toss at him.

This is a man who mowed my lawn, changed my cat litter boxes and made sure I was alright every week while I was in all my troubled times. He helped me when I needed him, going above and beyond what would be fair for any friend.

He is an inspiration to me, a motivation to me.

Tony thank you for being my friend. A great friend. A true friend.

I can only hope to be an ounce to you as you have been to me.

Links

Thank You Christopher Burke

Equal and Peaceful – Poem

Equal and Peaceful

River mud caries on the wind, massaging our flesh like a lover’s touch. Flowery fuzies float in the air as spring snowflakes. Life is better than good, better than bad. It is equal and peaceful.

It feels good to look at the world with open eyes. A vision with clean filters of peace and harmony. Free of weight, without the world’s mass pinning us down. Our knees no longer press against hard stone. The blood, the pain, the agony is gone. No longer do we live in fear, in pain or with anger. Together we are enjoying the moment, loving the world and the miracle of life.

No longer do we eat the meal of sadness and joy. They’ve become candy sprinkles, a sugary delight, an occasional pleasure. It’s no longer about what we’ve faced or the feel of our face. It’s about the look of their face, the love of their face, the love on our face.

Life is more, less, exactly as it’s supposed to be. Not backwards or forwards, here or there. It’s more than nothing, less than something, not even or odd. Life is beautiful, awe-inspiring, beyond imagination, finite and infinite.

Links

Blooming Sadness – Poem

At Peace – Poem

 

 

 

 

thank you christopher burke

Thank You Christopher Burke

thank you christopher burke

Thank You Christopher Burke

Tonight was quite the evening. I read aloud many poems. Engaged in heart provoking conversation. Last, but far from least, listened to poetry that moved my heart. One performance caught my ear above and beyond all others. It moved me to such a degree that tears wrapped my eyes. This poet, this storyteller strummed my heart and played my soul.

Ordinarily I avoid the use of names in my posts, but today I must pay homage where it is due. I’ve never had the pleasure to be captivated and liberated by the words of one person. There has never been a moment where words pulled me into them with such gravity, such power that my being was absorbed. Where the sound of his stories reverberated and transformed the spirit matter of my being.

If you ever have the opportunity to hear the words of this man, I suggest you take the time to sit and listen to the tales of his heart. Relax your shoulders and lower your walls and you will be pulled into a land beyond heaven and hell. You will be in the realm of truth, of excellent of raw, unfettered humanity.

I cannot thank him enough for sharing his inside parts. Truly, deeply he has inspired my inside zones. Simply awesome! Awesome in the truest sense. Thank you, thank you Christopher Burke.

Links

At peace – Poem

Abdomidon – Retro Poem

Abdomidon

The fire Abdomidon rides in the night air as we speak

In the night of the ever cold

The moon light chill burns my flesh to goose bumps standing on end, awaiting orders.

The hairs on my thin white flesh rise like stems of bamboo sticks of the color green, blowing in the midnight wind of the moon.

The blood rushes red to my skin to warm it with the underneath touch

I shiver and grasp the blue denim jeans of outside cold chill to warm my tightening joints.

The cold jeans warm nothing to my hands of frost, the old man of winter wished upon me.

My eyes blink as the cold sharp winds rage my face.

I bring my hands to shelter the tender flesh of my face. The cold digits of my hands protected nothing. The winds cut deep into my eyes. My green eyes, my blue green eyes.

Tears ball up, and struggle to maintain order within, protecting them from the pain and damage of the wind

I turn my back on this sharp skin ripping dull wind.  Its cold air wisps up my back and under my soft wool and cotton. Riding the pale hair up my back, entertaining my spine.

My teeth chatter with desperation.

My knees tighten and wobble

My nose grows red

The cold of my toes grow to pain

The chill filled eyes scratch to look around

Searching for an end to the pain

 

The eyes turn sharp, and dart and dart

and the body withers and shivers

As a rumble is heard.

 

Links

Simply Gorgeous – Poem

Blooming Sadness – Poem

blooming sadness

Blooming Sadness

He sat on his couch, the ambient noise of a movie played in the background. The day was one of significance, one of growing grief, one ending with a blooming sadness. Like a flower his eyes released in a bout of tearful waterworks, a release, a joyous scene of sadness.

He had a friend, one he was thankful for, this person spoke to him as he wept. Their words walked with him as his tears crawled down his face. Speaking fairly and genuinely, he was reminded of the beautiful reality of his tears. They used his own words to console him, his own tone to remind him. It felt good to hear these things as he faced the sadness, this healthy sadness.

He thought about the tears streaming down his face, their significance. What were they truly, he thought to himself. It was a cocktail of their words and his, the truth, the simple truth was he was a new man. He had no walls, no anger, no animosity, he became someone else. This was the first loss he felt, a loss without the bone crushing cold of depression, or the volcanic power of mania. He was letting go of a love, a good love, a precious love. Yet, he was not letting go of love.

Love would stay, as this new man he loved everyone. Willing to love those who’d hurt him in the past. Those he’d never met and those he knew now. Life was new, things were different, he could feel with his fingers, with his lips… with his heart.

Links

At Peace – Poem

 

 

At Peace

At Peace – Poem

At Peace

At Peace

Today I was at peace,

my insides were warm and wonderful.

There were moments of sadness, like little candy sprinkles.

 

The the sprinkles became a gentle storm.

In a calming, beautiful place I went back to older moments.

 

I gave no fight

I let it be,

to ponder

to explore

 

In the end it was something true,

something good,

something human.

Links

In Our Life – Poem

In our Life – Poem

In our life

In our Life

In our life,

There are moments so profound

we mark them with mile stones,

So powerful

we can feel their force as they are happening.

 

Today the gravity of all my experiences settled in. Like a welcoming wind, a profound sense of peace eased its way into my soul.

I am no longer concerned with the trivial, the things I cannot control

the battles that are not my own.

 

I am a new man, an old man

the person I never thought I would be

the anger, the hate, the frustration, the pain, the fear

is all gone

 

I feel fantastic

I feel wonderful

I feel powerful

 

I love everyone

I am at peace with everyone

I am in harmony with everyone

 

Links

Simply Gorgeous – Poem

Freedmont Happiness of Joy Upon Nasty Fur Hounds – Retro Poem

 

Freedmont Happiness of Joy

Upon Nasty Fur Hounds

 

The stars twinkle in the night sky

as I stare into the blue horizon

The sun sets to the south of my glowing yellow body of darkness

 

Slipping the serpent nature from within

into the clear wet body illuminating flourescent white,

into my eyes as I speak to you

 

The sun moves over,

he rolls over as the white line upon my face slips over my nose into the moon

“Oh so sad” I think to myself as the math is put together in the form of innocence

in the heart of the ever pure

Almost being like the red green light that flashes at one’s eyes as Christmas sings about to me in the tone of pleasant.

Oh what a great feeling it is to have the tree of life flourish over my floor,

Gulping down what little water remains in the white red bowl it sips

Its green pine needle drinking hands waving about for help in its torturous environment.

 

What a great feeling of dehydration watching its tongue dig deep into the soul of the barrel bowl, and spirit of the flowing water.

Oh such things must rush over the man making math

Staring over the horizon.

Imagining the nearing Christmas of joy and happiness

The Both that share us Joy.

 

Links

Magical Ways – Poem

green putrid heart

Green Putrid Heart – Retro Poem

green putrid heart

Green Putrid Heart

Your green putrid heart covered in that sticky slime

Dripping the crude waste, man leaves behind

Sipping your own fluids,

and offering it to others with your pale wrinkled hands,

soaked with the makeup you ever so slightly put on your face,

that fake creation full of the unnatural impurities,

made from the animals you love so much.

 

Whipping your hands down on the paper,

and bleaching your foulness upon it

and calling it art,

Yes

I agree

it is art

 

For this art tells a thousand words of your corruption

and a coal blackened heart

and self pity

 

Links

Magical Ways – Poem

It Slides – Poem

it slides

Its Slides

It slides and slips

moving swiftly between our finger tips

grains of sand,

like time, our lives spill through our hand

as our love slips away

 

it disappears before our eyes

falling to the floor

against the stone

bouncing away

hiding, leaving us forever

 

falling in love is a moment of beauty

a rush, a flash of light, fireworks and fun

 

When the love is done, its gone in a shadow

a heavy blanket

an emptiness inside…

 

…a sad farewell

 

Links

Simply Gorgeous – Poem

Simply Gorgeous – Poem

Simply Gorgeous

Simply Gorgeous

Beautiful, simply gorgeous

an angel with such a heavenly glow,  white light trails in your wake.

So soft, so sensitive, so pure

Your essence is intoxicating, incredibly invigorating.

 

Walking beside you was like being wrapped in a veil of magical light

fairies fluttering with their butterfly wings

singing songs of love and life without any strife

 

immeasurable and incredible

pure candy for sight

a flavor of the gods, beyond any mortal delight

 

Links

Magical Ways – Poem

Magical Ways

Magical Ways – Poem

Magical Ways

Magical Ways

The world moves in magical ways

It has an ebb and flow

A feel of pure pleasure,

a sensation of cool liquidity

rhythmically rocking us, forward and back

 

Not all of our feels make sense

they don’t have to

Feelings are creatures without a master

they are untamed

unmarred

liberated and Free

 

Acceptance, like the world, has an ebb and flow

It moves forward and back

side to side

it glides and slides, but never abides.

 

Links

Eh – Poem

 

Eh

Eh – Poem

Eh

Eh

Eh…

I want to say “Not a peep, not a noise, not a word.”

I want to say “Are you serious?”

“After all this time?”

“After this and that, here and there?”

 

I want to say “ok.”

I want to say “I get it.”

“I should have seen it.”

“That this was going to happen.”

“It was destined to be.”

“that’s how it works”

“Its fine.”

 

What can I say?

those feelings

those moments

 

It doesn’t take them away

The way the road moves

how it travels

or where it goes

 

The steps we took have already been taken

They can’t be undone

They will always be there

 

Perhaps…

Maybe I’m fine with it

Ready to lift my soul

let my heart go

rise and fly

watch what was…

…die.

Links

All Sorts

 

 

All Sorts

All Sorts – Poem

All Sorts

All Sorts

Hurt and pain and all sorts of shame

We live in a world where things don’t go our way

Life is not solely about the good times

or the bad.

 

It is about the memories we cherish, love and like.

the lessons we have learned

and the things we have earned

 

Sadness is a time stamp of the things we have accepted

the moments that have passed

the ones that are to come

that will be all sorts of fun

 

It is an opportunity to look forward

to walk toward the sun

and dance in the night

 

to look ahead without any fright

live and love

and wear life like a glove

Links

Plug – Poem

 

plug

Plug – Poem

plug

Plug

There is a plug, a sticky thing,

a clog filling the passage

It keeps all the gooey good stuff from flowing like it should

It keeps us from seeing ourselves

seen how we see

feel how we feel

how we want to experience

 

This plug is tough and gruff and overall quite the bastard

We have to pull and struggle and fight

do what needs to be done to open our heart to fun

 

The world is not always about the things that are bad

or sad

We can raise our spirits

feel the wave

and be glad

enjoy the stillness of peace

and make the insanity cease.

Links

Burns – Poem

 

burns

Burns – Poem

burns

Burns

As the world burns,

we watch,

our eyes resting against the horizon

comfortably sitting with soft smiles

watching the flames lick at the starless sky.

It is difficult to discern between the clouds and the smoke

as it often is,

 

In life we face so many perils

the hardships are difficult to distinguish the good from the bad.

We blindly amble

smiles on our faces,

moving toward the maw of oblivion

we enter the mouth of annihilation

and we are consumed

utterly destroyed

 

What then?

What happens next?

Are we are reborn?

Do we reemerge?

ready and willing to face life again

able to cope, to handle all of its challenges

overcome all of its hardships

rediscovering how to survive and journey

thrive and give up worry

Links

A Gargoyle beside Oblivion – Poem

 

Hidden

Hidden – Poem

Hidden

Hidden

The world can be a strange place, the kind where shadows move about believing they’re hidden.

Like a silvery little fish, so young and slick. Swimming with such serpentine grace it might make me sick.

If the desire is there, act on it, life is too short to sneak and hide.

Instead you move and dance, sneakily eating and thriving, simply trying to hide as you survive.

Fuck that man, do what you go to do. Be honest and straight with your words. There’s no shadow in the sky, no duck bill that’ll bite.

Your heart says “That shadow in the sky is a duck if I might surmise.” Don’t guess, if you must know, go and ask.

Don’t bask in the burning rays of fear. Live your life outward and well. Embrace the love in your heart. Don’t break your patterns and smiles because of expectation.

Most likely, what you expect isn’t what you’re going to get.

Links

A Caretaker in Name only

 

Feels

Feels – Poem

Feels

Feels

Today was a day of many thoughts and explorations. I considered much and spoke to plenty of people. It was a good day filled with all sorts of feels.

There was a poem that crossed my mind. My heart spilled, but its blood was thin, only thick enough to grant the writing form. It was raw, rough and without shape. It lacked the slide and glide needed for it to roll off the lip.

The spirit addressed love, life and the relationships between. It asked questions about life’s stepping stones, how we are servants to the soles of our lover’s feet. We mark a place, a spot, a temporary location for those we love, until another is found… to lead them closer to that one… true… love.

The poem sung a song, a friendly ballad, one that smiles and laughs and is jolly… even at night. It was a song that could bring an end even to a terrifying fright.

It said we are servants to love, that it fits us like a glove and flies as sweetly as a beautiful white dove.

It said we all give, a gift received… and a gift granted. A glory to be thankful for…   A magnificence to cherish, a significance to acknowledge and its brilliance to brighten our days.

Links

Memories – Reflections