People in your Life – Read some delightful poetry!

people

People in your Life

 

How wonderful are the people in your life?

Are they marvelous?

loving?

spectacular?

Do they fill your inside zones with joy?

Are they the delicious cream of your soft scrumptious eclair?

Do they own your heart and soul?

Did you give this as a gift?

or were your bones broken as they peeled your fingers back?

to snatch and grab your heart from  your battered and beaten hand.

Do they bounce your soul like an old rubber ball?

Like they don’t care about it at all?

letting it fly this way and that, bouncing down the bleak empty hall.

or do they nestle it against their chest?

cuddling

kissing

Loving it for All

 

You want me to do something – Poem

 

 

Life – A New Universe of Cancer

life

Life?

What do I have to say about life?  Right now I hate it.  I hate my existence, I don’t know if I have ever hated it as much as as I do right now.  Every moment I am haunted by this terrible disease, every part of who I am is built into it.

Sometimes I ask myself why do I even exist?  Why am I on this place?  What is the purpose of my existence? For most of my life I have known nothing but pain and fear.  Is this what life is supposed to be?  I really want it to be something more than that.  I want to live the life that…

Maybe that is just a fantasy.  Perhaps those are fairy tale lives.  I just never thought this would happen.  Everyone always says that, but I had definitive thoughts saying that I would never have cancer.

I’ve begun to relax as I type this.  There is a certain peace in doing this blog.  I really do believe I am experiencing all of this so I can help people.  That belief is very important to me, it makes all of this worth something.  I don’t know if I could endure all of this if there wasn’t something good to come of it.

I really have to believe that I can change the lives of others.  My heart needs to make this terrible journey into something good.  I need my life to mean something.

To start a New Universe of Cancer feel free to click on this friendly link.  

Change – A New Universe of Cancer

change

Change is the way of life

At every step in our life we are faced with change.  It’s an opportunity to become something else, to be transformed by the moment.  I have experienced many opportunities to change in my cancer journey.  I have done my best to accept these gifts as they are presented to me.  When our world begins to transform we must temper it with wisdom, becoming something else is not enough, we must critically observe the transformation.

Reflections

Ghost Tree (the art piece of the tree: see below) was inspired by the parts of our lives that die but remain even after we continue to live.  Looking at it now I’m reminded of my mother, especially her journey through cancer and heart disease.   She died of congestive heart failure and pancreatic cancer.  Since my diagnosis there have been many moments when I wondered if she had carcinoid cancer.

My mother walked the road of cancer with grace.  She made the most of her life.  She lived her final moments by her terms.  When she was put on hospice she chose to take control of her life and how she would walk into death.   My mother was an inspiration, an incredibly loving and passionate woman.

In the last weeks of her life she arranged one final hurrah, a vacation for the entire family.  Together we went on a cruise, it would be the last time we would be together as a happy, harmonious family.

The diagnosis of cancer is a catalyst for great change.  It is through our wisdom that we decide whether this change is benevolent or malevolent.  My mother showed me that no matter where the road leads us, we ultimately have the decision to decide how we leave.  We decide how we will be remembered and how much love we can bring into the world.

a picture of my wonderful mother
This picture was taken when I was about 19. This is how I remember my mother.

A Good Life

As we move forward in life, parts of us die, while others continue to grow.  When we lose people close to us it is important to remember how they lived, but it is also important to remember how they died.

The end of life is not the first death we’ve experienced.  Change means something must stop so another may begin.  These moments are smaller deaths to prepare us for the final one at the end of our road.  If we gracefully accept the small changes in our life we will be ready for the final transformation at the end.

This post is about acceptance, love and growth.  It is an exploration of life and those who have inspired us.  Its a message that change can be good, the good comes from wisdom, temper it well and you will lead a good life.

 

Life after death
Ghost Tree. A life of cancer, a life of life.

 

I am beginning to discover that it is our dying parts that inspire others to live.  To explore the magical nature of life and take the time to experience the experience.  If you would like to walk back in time and read my thoughts from the past feel free to follow this link: 

A New Universe of Cancer Part: 5

 

 

 

surely whirly its true

surely whirly its true

A poem by Shawn White

Whirly fun, surely you will find a fun time within these gummy good words.  This series aims to tell a story, a poem or adventure straight from my magical mouth. Not every moment is a serious one, sometimes we need to rest, relax and let our imaginations run wild.

If you think this poem is silly, you will discover many others like it.  If you like bonus grins or a jump kickingly good times, then look no further.  The core of who I am is rooted in silliness.  What do we have if we cannot laugh, smile and be jolly?

Clearly I have a message, I aim to achieve my dreams and passions.  I want to help those who need help, I desire to change the world and inspire others to do great things.  I will do all of these things and more.  Ultimately I will discover how to be my own health advocate, and teach others to become theirs.

What is the value of our spirituality, philosophy or religion if we cannot love?  If we cannot make our feelings and faith manifest?

Embracing the beauty of the universe is often neglected by everyone, it is not a symptom of a disease.  It is the byproduct of the hypnotic fog of complacency surrounding and saturating our lives.

I have always tried to enjoy the fruity flavor of life and all the love it had to offer. There have been times when the foam of life has obstructed the taste experience. Where the other feels masked the most important ones.  It is in these moments that we do our best to know that our frilly furls, and silly songs will one day return.

whirly silliness

 

 

surely whirly its true

 

Beef, chicken, pop-tarts and glue.
I just cant get enough of you.

While I eat my favorite flavor,
Hanging out with my fun savior
I beat the heat, by taking a seat,
And I wear my hat to the side
Like a big yellow slippery slide
And Im filled with so much watah
I just gotta to holla

Later Ill be Drinking a beer with big ol daddy deer
While smores are cooked on oars.

But today, if I may.
I will say
Yes indeed, surely whirly its true,
Today wheely really will be,
The best day to chill with you.

So scroll just a little bit lower and click on the magical link.  I am sure the interwebs and my voluptuous voice will fill your heart with smiles. 🙂

Yay!

February 12, 2017 Vlog

February 12, 2017 Vlog

The focus of this Vlog is your feelings.  Throughout my journey I have been told by so many people that I should feel this or feel that.  Ultimately what you should be feeling is whatever your are feeling right now.

Thank you for taking the time to listen to my Vlog.  If you would like to read what I wrote I have it below.  Thanks for listening. 

Feel your feelings

Hello my name is Shawn White, but you can call me Shawn White.

This is my vlog, this is your blog, this is for anyone who is exploring their heart and strumming its strings.

It is a place where I can express my feelings, to swim through the open waters of emotion, and find my way to warm shores.

I want to find a beach so bright with golden rays that I can revitalize my heart.  Sand so soft and smooth I can dig my feet deep and anchor myself in place.   A place I can enjoy the cool slow moving wind and enjoy it until the end.

This Vlog is not about what some would call sad, or bad.  It is not about smiles or laughs.  This Vlog is about life, it is about experience, it is about being human.

Throughout my cancer journey I have been told many things. Ultimately of all the advice given to me, the greatest given was by a man whose name starts with the letter S.  He is a wise gentleman who has inspired me to accept and explore my feelings for what they are.

From his words to mine, I believe the greatest advice I could give, is to follow your heart like a toucan’s nose.  Whatever you are feeling is the one you should know.  Live your life, feel whatever you are feeling.  If you are angry, be angry, if you are sad, be sad, if you are thinking about death, think about death.  Stop refusing to experience your emotions because it might make someone else feel comfortable.

Live your life, feel your life, embrace the experience of existence.

Feel your feelings

 

If you would like to read more about my thoughts and our journey through cancer feel free to click this amazing link!

Loom of Fate

The Loom of Fate was a piece that I created to illustrate the similarities that our lives have with a tapestry.   Our hearts and minds are the physical manifestation of our soul parts, and it is the events of our lives and the passage of time that is the loom.

Through personal exploration and introspection I have discovered that regret is a monster that gnaws at the very root of one’s being.  To indulge this beast, is to invite the inability to enjoy the passing moments of this beautiful world.

When we look at the Loom of Fate piece, we see our tapestry in its entirety.  When we do this we can see where we came from, who we were and where we are now.  In life, if we are to know where we are going we must know where we have been so that we can influence where it is that we are heading.

Knowing our past isn’t enough to move beyond regret; to develop a healthier spirit, and to watch our soul strengthen we must embrace every part of our tapestry.   If it were not for the bad, we would never have perspective to appreciate the good.  It is through all the moments of our life that our tapestry is woven, for without one fiber, no others may exist.