False Perception is one of the seven negative roots of the Tree of Life. It’s the act of devaluing our significance, role or value. Though it may be tied to self deprecation it includes exaggerated perceptions of self. Believing we are worthless is equally destructive as personal deification. False Perception may be easily summed up in the statement: “I am ugly, I am a bad parent, I am the best, I am the wisest.”
I believe myself to be a pretty positive and confident man. I avoid jokes that belittle my significance or reduce my value. One of my fundamental philosophies is that positivity begets positivity and negativity begets negativity. This philosophy permeates nearly all of my communication, anyone who knows me can vouch for the fun words I tend to use. This is not False Perception, it is instead it is the act of positive reinforcement.
Life is not perfect, nor are the people who live within it.
There have been moments when I’ve fallen prey to the negative, wrapped myself with a blanket of destruction and rolled in its misery. Sure, these moments may reflect the depression of some, but it is not how I typically experience it. Nor is it how my False Perception Manifests.
My False Perception takes hold during my manic phases, it makes me feel invulnerable and unstoppable. Often my wisdom is robbed from me and I lose the ability to critically analyze and interact with my peers respectfully. There are instances where I feel the need to be right, refuse to back down and I push or pull when I need to let go and relax.
Though it can be troublesome it has opened the door to many magnificent journeys. In reflection my inflated sense of self increased my deafness during a time when my inner scream was already incredibly quite loud. It was a destructive time, a period when the nightmare of my existence dripped from my pores, ruining nearly everything that I touched.
After considerable reflection I have overcome this False Perception, putting it back into its dark hole. For now, until the mania returns I can walk through life fed with the roots of wisdom, instead of the roots of False Perception.
Wisdom – Tree of Life
Thank You Tony Strutynski
Tony, a man I’ve given many names, shared many moments and many conversations with. He has been my friend at my best moments and my worst. As he walks candy coated love explodes from his chest and skittle flavored rainbows shoot from his mouth. There is no one I know who cares about their friends like this beautiful man. His heart is sweet in such a way he reminds you it’s cool to be a kid and alright to be an adult. He inspires me to write, fight and be the Shawn White I am today, yesterday, everyday.
This is a man who passes no judgement, carries no gavel and most likely doesn’t eat any gravel. He’s down with silliness, ridiculousness and all the Shawn White tomfoolery I can toss at him.
This is a man who mowed my lawn, changed my cat litter boxes and made sure I was alright every week while I was in all my troubled times. He helped me when I needed him, going above and beyond what would be fair for any friend.
He is an inspiration to me, a motivation to me.
Tony thank you for being my friend. A great friend. A true friend.
I can only hope to be an ounce to you as you have been to me.
Thank You Christopher Burke
Emotional Land Mine
Recently I’ve taken a few moments to reflect on the events of my life. There is so much I’ve forgotten. At certain instances its feels like I stepped on an emotional land mine and was blown to pieces.
Somehow like a ghost I’ve been able to collect many of those parts and reassemble my spirit. The idea reminds me of Dracula from the Castlevania series. With that said the mind is a beautiful machine. Its able to cope and navigate through life. When we neglect it though shit really hits the fan and everything is covered in a layer of unfortunate crap.
The somehow part is a bit misleading, I actually used social media resources to stitch back the events of those days. There were all sorts of crazy and stupid shit that I said during that time, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings during those moments, but I don’t regret my actions. They had to happen, if they didn’t I wouldn’t have had the fuel to attempt suicide, or commit myself to a mental health facility.
I am a firm believer that change happens every second. If we want to have an influence over our lives we have to know who we want to be. To do that we have to know who we are, unfortunately we only know who we were moments ago. With enough introspection we can establish a pretty good framework, a blue print to understand how we work.
Once we have this framework established we can reach for the stars.
We can decide who it is we want to be and the kind of people we desire to surround ourselves with. In the coming week or so I will be releasing my philosophy on the Tree of Life, the Tolerance Barrel and the Spectrum. In it I will go into great detail about our dreams, adventures and plans. I will discuss our lives and how positive and negative energy plays into our role in life and how art is the catalyst to true change.
I hope to provide a sketch of how I see the world, so that perhaps you may begin drawing out your own. No system is perfect, each requires adaptations or unique systems to match the needs of everyone, one person at a time.
Memories – Reflections