False Perceptions

False Perception – Tree of Life

False Perception is one of the seven negative roots of the Tree of Life.  It’s the act of devaluing our significance, role or value.  Though it may be tied to self deprecation it includes exaggerated perceptions of self. Believing we are worthless is equally destructive as personal deification. False Perception may be easily summed up in the statement: “I am ugly, I am a bad parent, I am the best, I am the wisest.”

I believe myself to be a pretty positive and confident man.  I avoid jokes that belittle my significance or reduce my value.  One of my fundamental philosophies is that positivity begets positivity and negativity begets negativity. This philosophy permeates nearly all of my communication, anyone who knows me can vouch for the fun words I tend to use.  This is not False Perception, it is instead it is the act of positive reinforcement.

Life is not perfect, nor are the people who live within it.

There have been moments when I’ve fallen prey to the negative, wrapped myself with a blanket of destruction and rolled in its misery.  Sure, these moments may reflect the depression of some, but it is not how I typically experience it. Nor is it how my False Perception Manifests.

My False Perception takes hold during my manic phases, it makes me feel invulnerable and unstoppable.  Often my wisdom is robbed from me and I lose the ability to critically analyze and interact with my peers respectfully. There are instances where I feel the need to be right, refuse to back down and I push or pull when I need to let go and relax.

Though it can be troublesome it has opened the door to many magnificent journeys.  In reflection my inflated sense of self increased my deafness during a time when my inner scream was already incredibly quite loud.  It was a destructive time, a period when the nightmare of my existence dripped from my pores, ruining nearly everything that I touched.

After considerable reflection I have overcome this False Perception, putting it back into its dark hole.  For now, until the mania returns I can walk through life fed with the roots of wisdom, instead of the roots of False Perception.

Links

Wisdom – Tree of Life

 

Empathy – Critical Awareness

Empathy

When empathy becomes reality, your empathy has failed you.  Watching someone experience something is not the same as experiencing it.  This goes both ways.  It is not fair to claim you know something, when you don’t.  This post is about exploring the reality of cancer, our perception, empathy and our roles.

Empathy

Perception

Recently I was having a conversation with a friend.  She said that I wasn’t appreciating her and that I haven’t given her that appreciation for six months.  I told her that the reason was because I was going through chemotherapy.  She said that chemo was no excuse, then continued to say that she knows what chemo was like because her father went through it.  Her father was able to make her feel appreciated while he was going through treatment, so I should have too.

I told her that chemo was not an excuse, that it was a reality.  That for the last six months I’ve faced the most terrifying and painful experience of my life.  Things that she has never experienced and has no true understanding of.  That she would never understand what it feels like until she’s gone through chemotherapy (something I hope she never does).  I told her that I’m not her father, boyfriend and she is not my daughter and my role in her life is not as a significant other or parent.  That it sucks to feel unappreciated and as her friend I wished her feelings were not hurt.

Empathy

Friends do things that we may sometimes consider deplorable.  Her comment could easily be considered as such.  In the moment I was calm and didn’t allow it to hurt my feelings.  Later my feelings were hurt by it a little bit, but I vented to my significant other.  Then those bad feelings dissolved.

Friendship is about more than just the good times.  Sometimes we say things when we are really stressed that hurts those close to us.  I believe the fair thing to do here is to accept what they say as stress and move on.

Roles

If you have a loved one with cancer, it doesn’t mean you know what the experience of cancer is like.

Just because you…

  • have walked with someone in their cancer journey doesn’t mean that you know what its like to have cancer.
  • watched someone go through chemotherapy doesn’t mean you know what its like to go through chemotherapy.
  • know someone who went had surgery, doesn’t mean you know what its like to go through surgery.
  • know someone who had radiation treatment, doesn’t mean you know what its like to experience radiation treatment.

If you have cancer, it doesn’t mean you know what its like to watch someone you love suffer through cancer.

Just because you…

  • have cancer doesn’t mean that you know what its like to watch someone go through cancer.
  • went through chemotherapy doesn’t mean you know what its like to watch a loved one go through chemotherapy.
  • had surgery, doesn’t mean you know what its like to be there for someone going through surgery.
  • went through radiation treatment, doesn’t mean you know what its like to watch someone go through radiation treatment.

If you would like to read about the journey of cancer feel free to continue your exploration by clicking on this link.